Feeling Anxious Waiting for a Text? How Relationship Anxiety Shows Up for High Achievers
When Anxiety Starts to Take Over
There’s a particular kind of ache that comes with waiting — waiting for a message, for clarity, or for something to finally make sense. You keep refreshing your phone, replaying conversations, wondering if you said too much or not enough.
It’s a quiet kind of anxiety. The type that hides beneath confidence and competence, whispering, maybe it’s you.
But this anxiety isn’t who you are. It’s just a part of you that wants to feel safe, secure, and connected … and it’s doing its best to protect you.
That’s something we work on together in anxiety therapy for high-performance achievers: learning to understand your body’s signals, soothe them, and build emotional flexibility — so your worth isn’t tied to how someone else shows up.
What Anxiety Feels Like in Relationships
Let’s say you’re like Emma. A 20-year-old student navigating love, school, and everything in between. You’re with someone who makes you feel incredible one moment and distant the next.
Maybe they said they’d call, but it’s been two days. Maybe they made plans and then cancelled. You still move through your day, but your mind keeps circling back to the thoughts of what did I say? What did I do? Do they still care?
That tension in your chest? That’s anxiety doing its job. It’s trying to protect you from uncertainty or pain. But constantly living in that state of alertness is exhausting.
In my therapy practice, I work with high-performing achievers to understand these feelings, soothe the body’s signals, and build emotional flexibility, so your worth isn’t tied to how someone else shows up.
How to Support Yourself When Anxiety Shows Up
If you’re feeling that pit in your stomach while trying to get through work, school, or a regular day here’s some ways to stay grounded and care for yourself:
1. How to Ground Yourself During Relationship Anxiety
When you're starting to feel yourself become overwhelmed, a common thought to have is What if they’re losing interest? This is where we pause and ask: What do I know for sure right now? Anxiety often fills in blanks with stories that don’t have endings yet. Staying present helps you focus on what is real.
2. Redirect Your Focus to Manage Anxiety in Relationships
If you haven’t heard from them, don’t punish yourself by waiting. Shift your focus to something grounding. This could be going on a walk, journaling, calling a friend, or simply stepping outside for fresh air. Anxiety loosens its grip when you move your body and redirect your attention.
3. Validate Your Feelings Instead of Ignoring Anxiety
It’s okay to feel hurt, confused, or embarrassed. In Individual therapy, we explore these emotions without judgment, helping you understand why patterns repeat and how to shift them.
4. Give Yourself Permission to Step Back
Not every silence means rejection. Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is stop trying to manage how someone else feels and start tending to your own well-being.
You’re Allowed to Want More
You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. You can want closeness and still need space. You can hope it works out and also wonder if you deserve something steadier.
Anxiety doesn’t have to drive your beliefs. It’s simply a signal that something inside you needs care. With the right support, you can learn to respond instead of react.
Ready to Start Understanding Your Anxiety?
If you’re ready to start understanding your anxiety, I’d love to work with you to find that balance.
👉 Book a free consultation or learn more about therapy for high-performance achievers.
If you’re not ready yet, that’s okay. You’ll find more free tools and reflections on Instagram.
Because this isn’t forever — it’s just a chapter. And you get to decide how the next one reads.